Posted in Daily Prompt Posts

He’s in Control

Life is like a rollercoaster ride; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. Sometimes you’d feel like your world is upsidedown; that it’s a complete mess. Then after a while everything seems fine again.

Life is fun but scary at the same time. It’s full of meaningful memories but it’s also full of difficult challenges. It brings joy, but it can also cause sorrow, pain, disappointments and frustrations that can cause a person to throw tantrums, like a child having a tantrum over a denied request or an unfulfilled wants.

Also, there are many things in life that seem strange at first, but then later on we would realize how those seemingly strange things all fit in to paint a bigger picture we DIDN’T or COULDN’T see or understand before.

There are still many things in my life that I don’t completely understand right now, but as I trust God’s faithfulness in keeping His Word, I want to believe and hope for what Romans 8:28 says – that “God causes all things to work together for good,” though I don’t exactly know how He would accomplish that in the many things that are seemingly falling apart in my life right now.

Despite all my doubts and fears, I choose to believe that He’s in control over everything that I’m going through, including all the things my family is going through right now.

Soli deo gloria!

Posted in Daily Prompt Posts

An Exemption, Not THE Rule

It’s funny how many people often say, “Age doesn’t matter,” but in reality, it does matter especially among Filipinos.

I’ve seen it happen among many of my friends. And now that I’m older, I wouldn’t be surprised if a guy would lose interest in pursuing me after knowing that I’m older than him.

So over the years, I’ve realized that those people who say “age doesn’t matter” and act on it are the exemptions to the rule. They’re not THE rule. The rule still remains – “Age matters.” And I see it true for most women of my age and more so for those older than me. Guys can immediately dismiss any thought of pursuing a woman after learning that she’s more than 3 or 5 years older than him. Actually, most of the men I’ve known over the years always go for younger women. Why? Well, I have few things in mind, but one of the reasons, which many of my friends would possibly agree with, is that some men, if not most of them, don’t know how to handle successful, independent, older women. It’s either they’re insecure or they’re just scared of independent women who can think for themselves and cannot be easily swayed by those flowery words from a man’s mouth. DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying that’s true for all men, but that’s what we, women, think sometimes.

I know I come from a very biased point of view, but if you’re a secure man yourself, I believe you would somehow see where I’m coming from.

To balance the scale, I am also not unaware that women (including myself) also look at young men differently than how they would regard older men. Sometimes we also say “age doesn’t matter,” but if a young man comes pursuing us we also tend to think “he’s too young for me. He needs to grow a lot more,” and that means maturing in all areas of his life. We also think (based on studies, we believe) “boys anyway mature slower.” And that’s a direct quote from one of my friends.

So you see, even if we all want to believe or make other people believe that “age doesn’t matter,” in reality we all seem to think and behave the same way – “age matters!

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I guess I have an idea why, at least as to how we, women, see it.

Age matters because experience comes along with age. And “experience is the best teacher,” they say. It teaches us how to navigate through life. It helps us see who we really are and enables us to see the things we need to improve on. Experience helps us become authentic individuals – true to ourselves and to others. Age and experience allow us to grow and mature not just physically but in all aspects of life. So I think it’s just common for us, women, to think that an older man should be more mature than younger women. Hence, most women would want to marry an older man believing that he’s mature enough to take up his roles as the head of the family, as a husband to his wife and as a father to his kids (along with all his other roles in life). DISCLAIMER: Again, I’m not saying this is true for all men. I know some younger men who are more mature than men who are older than them, probably because of experiences those younger men went through.

So what I really want to say is that we, women, look for maturity in men, and we tend to think (or perhaps we want to believe) that those older men are more mature compared to us or compared to other younger men.

But I can’t speak for you, men. And I would not attempt to do so.

So why do men tend to pursue younger women? Is it because they think that as women grow older they tend to lose “that” beauty most men adore? (Sorry guys, but yes, we think most men prefer physical beauty more than character). Is it because older women tend to have difficulty submitting to younger men? Is it because men think that older women are boring? Or is it because men think that older women are more difficult to handle or deal with than younger women?

Whether you’re a man or a woman, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Does age really matter when it comes to dating and marriage?

Shalom!

Posted in Expat Diary

A Heartwarming Surprise

For more than two years now, I have a group of girls that I meet with once or twice a week. I call them my “meimeis.” “Meimei” means younger sister in Chinese.

Sometimes we just hang out or watch a movie, but most of the time we “study” together (if you know what I mean).

Cherish is one of my “meimeis.” It was her birthday yesterday so I got the chance to celebrate it with her over dinner. That was probably the second time we celebrated her birthday together along with her closest friend, Diana, who is also one of my meimeis.

So while waiting for the rest of our food, I asked them if they wanted to start eating or wait until we have all the food we ordered. I thought they said we should wait so I leaned back wanting to just relax after a long day with a migraine starting to bother me. After a while, I noticed our table was not properly set, just the OC-ness in me I guess (if there’s such a term as that), so I started rearranging the cutleries while talking. Cherish thought I was going to start eating so she interrupted and said, “Let’s pray?

It wasn’t the first time we prayed for a meal, but at that very moment, I was happily surprised how they have actually learned that simple habit of giving thanks to the FATHER before starting to eat. I don’t know whether or not they do that on their own when I’m not there watching them, but I do hope they do.

And hope is all I have for each of them – the hope that each of them would one day make that decision to follow the SON and make Him LORD and SAVIOR of their lives (if they haven’t TRULY made that decision yet). I know it’s not that easy to stand for something that you were told not to believe in, but I just pray that HE will allow them to experience more of Him in many special ways so that they will have the assurance and courage to stand firm on their faith in Him, no matter what the cost is.

Until then I hope that HE will continue to enable me to set a good example for all of them. I pray for His guidance on how to help them know Him more, and eventually learn to love HIM, too.

Here’s to more heartwarming surprises! 🍵🍵