It’s funny how many people often say, “Age doesn’t matter,” but in reality, it does matter especially among Filipinos.
I’ve seen it happen among many of my friends. And now that I’m older, I wouldn’t be surprised if a guy would lose interest in pursuing me after knowing that I’m older than him.
So over the years, I’ve realized that those people who say “age doesn’t matter” and act on it are the exemptions to the rule. They’re not THE rule. The rule still remains – “Age matters.” And I see it true for most women of my age and more so for those older than me. Guys can immediately dismiss any thought of pursuing a woman after learning that she’s more than 3 or 5 years older than him. Actually, most of the men I’ve known over the years always go for younger women. Why? Well, I have few things in mind, but one of the reasons, which many of my friends would possibly agree with, is that some men, if not most of them, don’t know how to handle successful, independent, older women. It’s either they’re insecure or they’re just scared of independent women who can think for themselves and cannot be easily swayed by those flowery words from a man’s mouth. DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying that’s true for all men, but that’s what we, women, think sometimes.
I know I come from a very biased point of view, but if you’re a secure man yourself, I believe you would somehow see where I’m coming from.
To balance the scale, I am also not unaware that women (including myself) also look at young men differently than how they would regard older men. Sometimes we also say “age doesn’t matter,” but if a young man comes pursuing us we also tend to think “he’s too young for me. He needs to grow a lot more,” and that means maturing in all areas of his life. We also think (based on studies, we believe) “boys anyway mature slower.” And that’s a direct quote from one of my friends.
So you see, even if we all want to believe or make other people believe that “age doesn’t matter,” in reality we all seem to think and behave the same way – “age matters!”
I guess I have an idea why, at least as to how we, women, see it.
Age matters because experience comes along with age. And “experience is the best teacher,” they say. It teaches us how to navigate through life. It helps us see who we really are and enables us to see the things we need to improve on. Experience helps us become authentic individuals – true to ourselves and to others. Age and experience allow us to grow and mature not just physically but in all aspects of life. So I think it’s just common for us, women, to think that an older man should be more mature than younger women. Hence, most women would want to marry an older man believing that he’s mature enough to take up his roles as the head of the family, as a husband to his wife and as a father to his kids (along with all his other roles in life). DISCLAIMER: Again, I’m not saying this is true for all men. I know some younger men who are more mature than men who are older than them, probably because of experiences those younger men went through.
So what I really want to say is that we, women, look for maturity in men, and we tend to think (or perhaps we want to believe) that those older men are more mature compared to us or compared to other younger men.
But I can’t speak for you, men. And I would not attempt to do so.
So why do men tend to pursue younger women? Is it because they think that as women grow older they tend to lose “that” beauty most men adore? (Sorry guys, but yes, we think most men prefer physical beauty more than character). Is it because older women tend to have difficulty submitting to younger men? Is it because men think that older women are boring? Or is it because men think that older women are more difficult to handle or deal with than younger women?
Whether you’re a man or a woman, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Does age really matter when it comes to dating and marriage?